Kindness and happiness
When we talk about someone being kind, we often refer to someone who is helpful or inclined to act in ways that bring happiness to others. The words “kind” and “kinship” share the same roots. When we say “we are one of a kind,” we mean “we are part of a bigger group that shares many attributes.” Understanding the roots of kindness and kinship supports our view that to become good communicators, we need to feel connected.
In healthcare settings, “kindness” can sometimes be daunting because interacting with sick individuals often makes us confront our vulnerabilities and weaknesses. As clinicians, reflecting on our emotions during healthcare communications is essential.
Personal psychological well-being is crucial for us to be able to treat patients with kindness, which is why we address communication skills and the individual well-being of clinicians together. They are inseparable. Kindness stems from our connectedness with those around us, enhancing our ability to communicate effectively and compassionately.
Dr Phub Tsering practices medicine in Bhutan and is a senior onco-surgeon who treats head and neck cancers. We can learn about the compassion that emerges from Bhutan’s Buddhist culture and why Bhutan is often referred to as the happiest country in the world.
While we discuss ‘compassion,’ it is crucial to understand what we mean when we ask you to ‘walk in another person’s shoes‘. But before we embark on this journey, one needs to appreciate how, at times, the patient’s perception of the situation and clinical reality can be very different. Only when we acknowledge this can we empathise with the person we are trying to help.
Patients can be scared, defensive, helpless, fragile, and even angry. As clinicians, we have to manage these complex emotions. The best way to explain this is to listen to someone who has been through a difficult treatment and can recollect her journey as a patient. Although she is a doctor herself, she probably felt like anyone else at the point of her illness.
Dr Sarah Deheem underwent liver transplantation in the UK. She talks about her experience of delirium and how the reassuring kind words of her treating doctor helped her during her hospital stay.
References:
- Fowler J H, Christakis N A. Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study BMJ 2008; 337 :a2338
- Ballatt, J, Campling, P and Maloney, C.(2020) Intelligent Kindness: Rehabilitating the Welfare State. 2nd ed. Cambridge, England: RCPsych/Cambridge